Tool for Navigating Life and Love 7-12-10

“Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial…I will not be mastered by anything….Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial…not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.” 1Cor. 6:12; 1Cor. 10:23-24

 

The combination of these 2 verses is the primary tool we Cleary’s use daily living decisions. Questions like “Do we…

• go or not go to a particular movie? Read or pass on a particular N.Y. Best Seller listed book?
• make a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ decision on the job today?
• say something to my friend, or keep my mouth shut?
• buy that car or motor cycle? New or used? …OR wait?
• drink or not drink alcohol with tonight’s dinner? Pork, vegetarian or steak main course?
• do or not do “this or that” in bed with my spouse? (…yep, thought this’d get your attention)

God gives us such freedom to live and love! And we’ve found this freedom through the application of these 2 verses above (as we try our best to live out Mk. 12:30-31, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength…and love your neighbor as yourself.”) Oh sure, it’s much easier to live in a legalistic rule box, where everything has a yes/no answer…but that’s not true freedom. Nor is it where we find deepest intimacy with our Lord.

 

For us, deepest intimacy with God happens when all perceptions all my past experiences are held out with open hands to Jesus…when every little tiny decision in daily living is worked out with God and becomes likened to breathing…when we ask His advice into everything and everyone we encounter, and fully expect that there will be areas where God says, “NO!”. (In our intimacy with God we understand that these “no’s” are something to be embraced because they’re for our protection, freedom and joy ~~not skirted as if God’s trying to keep us from ‘real fun’ as the devil wants us to think.)

 

Question: Regarding the above Corinthian verses, what is meant by “permissible”? Answer in short: Anything God has not recorded in His Word as a “no”. Stated differently, if God doesn’t say “no”, He is saying that it is permissible…but perhaps it’s not beneficial and/or constructive (vertically or horizontally).

 

This is the first step. If the question at hand passes the first test (is this permissible?), the next questions are:

•  How does this affect my relationship with God? How does this affect the other person(s) walk with God? (vertical relationship)
•  How does this affect my relationship with my friend? My friend with me? (horizontal relationship)
•  Is this beneficial to our relationship? (vertical and horizontal)
•  Is this constructive to our relationship? (vertical and horizontal)
•  Is this going to produce any negative “triggers” to myself? To my friend?
•  Am I mastered by this? Is my friend struggling with being mastered by this?

 Based on the answers to these quick questions, we get either a green light or a U-turn sign. And when we choose to obey this sign, our intimacy with God then skyrockets, and He throws inexpressible freedom, joy, adventure, love and abundant LIFE to boot!

 

We’ll expand on this in future messages, but pray this helps you as much as it’s helped us through the years! Love to each of you.

 

Shaun and Betsy

Gain Understanding 7-6-10

“But it is the Spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding.” Job 32:8

 

Have you ever wanted enhanced insights into ‘what makes so-n-so tick’? To discern and navigate a tricky situation from God’s perspective? Crave divine understanding of this crazed world? To truly know Jesus and not my idea of Jesus?

 

What does God’s word say about spiritual understanding? Here are a few gems:

 

• “To God belongs wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are His.” Job 12:13
• "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding.”    Ps. 111:10
• “The unfolding of Your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.” Ps. 119:130
• “Turn your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding.” Prv. 2:2
• “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.” Prv. 3:5
• “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” Jam. 3:1 

 

 

Ok, these are great verses, but how do I apply them to my relationships and circumstances right now? Here are a few practical ideas that we’ve personally practiced this week:

 

• When discussing relational concerns with a confidant, make sure that my goal is to seek understanding rather than rehearse and nurse my grievance.
• When trying to navigate a complex business concern, get up early, pray and spend t-i-m-e with the Master…then bounce ideas with that business associate.
• When conflicted by societal pressures to conform to its standard, trust what God has revealed to me in my quiet time and obey His promptings.
• When confused (or confident) about my idea of God and His ways, be open to a fresh revelation from His Word!

 

Hope you’ve had a wonderful 4th of July weekend!!!

 

God bless you,

 

Shaun and Betsy

Let the Discerning get Guidance 6-28-10

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning and let the discerning get guidance.” Prv. 1:5




Solomon, son of King David and Bathsheba, and author of Proverbs has quite a lot to share with us … if we will chose to listen. The wisest man ever to live, raised by a deeply flawed father (but of whom God describes as “a man after my own heart”), could have asked for anything he desired from God and chose to ask for WISDOM, but nonetheless succumbed to the very sins he now warns us against. This man of authority, both worldly and spiritually, addresses us from transparent personal experience. We are wise to listen and assimilate his advice into our lives. (For a quick back ground on this dude, check out 1 Sam. 12:24; 1Chr. 2-10; 2Chr. 1:11-12; Deut.17:16-20; and 1Kings 11:4).



Solomon’s recorded words are extracted from a personal life filled of contrasts. And who better to have taught Solomon in addition to God and his own experiences? DAD. From to David’s successful war crusades, to living in caves as he hid from murderous King Saul, to his palatial life in Jerusalem, David lead a life full of both physical and spiritual contrasts. One cool thing we continue to learn from David’s example is that despite changes in his physical and spiritual environment is that his heart remained supple in God’s hands until his dying breath.



This same theme of ‘contrasts and dependence’ upon God has been rather profound in our lives these last 2 weeks as we’ve ventured from 2 cabins on a lake at 11,000ft. in Colorado to the Palazzo Hotel on the Vegas strip. ~Simplicity, peaceful solitude and grandeur to…well…the Las Vegas strip. Yet despite the difference in temperature (figuratively and literally), one theme remained the same: “listen, add to your learning and get guidance from the Master Creator Himself despite our surroundings”. (~And our peaceful state actually continued as we hung out by the oasis pool and found that if we entered the hotel on the 2nd floor we missed all the ching-chinging and got ourselves great free massages at the Brookstone store. ;-))



In Vegas we were tested with obvious “Vegas stuff”, but back in Colorado, despite the peace and grandeur of our surroundings and an extended family that is incredible and very loving, we dealt with the very real interpersonal dynamics of A LOT of family living in tight quarters. (And in a family where most individuals are “chiefs”, living in tight conditions can be tricky and sometimes feel like navigating a mine field in a foreign land!) It’s in these times of interpersonal relationship that Shaun and I become UTTERLY dependent on God’s guidance. ~And sadly, shame on us for not being “this” reliant 24X7x365.



There is no doubt: we ALL have “a dark side”, whether or not it’s “expressed outwardly”. Iniquities modeled for us in our childhood are often the same sad iniquities we continue to discover in our own humanness. ~~The cool thing is that S&B are learning to much more readily identify our own personal “ET” behaviors, and call them out by name. (We give them acronym names to better help us readily recognize them without insulting one another, thus making matters worse.) ~~Although we’ve been married a while now, and one would think we should have this rubbish “wired”, both of us continue to discover new manipulative/selfish ways that reside within our own personal flesh nature! But the beautiful thing is, God is doing some amazing things in us as we call these ugly areas out for what they are, ask for forgiveness and for the strength to do better next time.



What’s equally encouraging to us is that from Solomon’s and David’s writings we learn that these men struggled with the same kinds of stuff. Even better, they’ve recorded their struggles, insights, and practical applications for us to learn from! On printed pages both men share their hearts transparently and actually plead with us to learn from their experiences. Shaun and I pray that our own hearts will remain supple in God’s hands until our dying day. We pray yours will too!



Much love,

Shaun and Betsy

VIDEO: Blueprint Essentials PT1

VIDEO: Blueprint Essentials PT 2

A Time for Everything 6-7-10

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Eccl. 3:1

Ever eaten fruit that wasn’t in season? ~Bitter, sour, bland, and ultimately unsatisfying. Many of us are shifting from a busy school year into a more relaxed summer mode, and we’re wise to allow the Lord to lead us through such changes (even summer vacation) in a manner that makes us both graceful and effective in our living.


So, what does the Lord have in store for you this summer season?

• A little R&R to refresh & rejuvenate our weary souls?
• An adventuresome trip to create some life long memories and touch lives around the globe?
• An opportunity (t-i-m-e) to deepen relationships with our family and friends?
• A chance to celebrate our wonderful “one nation under God” on the 4th of July or visiting U.S.A. sights?

Here are some neat scriptures the Lord put on our hearts this week regarding the seasonal change we’re experiencing:

“He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, one that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.” Ps.1:3

• The fruit of some seasons appointed by the Lord can be bitter-sweet. This is the life verse the Lord gave to us for our son Conner when he was born. We are very excited to see how the Lord’s promise is coming true as he heads of to college in the Bay Area this fall. But it’s also very bitter-sweet in that we won’t get to see him very much over the next few years, and we just love this guy sooooo much that it hurts.

"The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He awakens me morning by morning; He awakens my ear to hear as the learned.” Is. 50:4

• How cool is this? ~A few words spoken at the right time can provide a tremendous boost to a weary brother or sister.
• But this is about their season, not ours. (~Looks like God desires us to be prepared for this every single day (24x7), through our daily quiet time.)

“Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season.” 2Tim. 4:2
Bear in mind, we never get a vacation from sharing the GREAT NEWS about Jesus! And why would we? This is the most exhilarating & fulfilling thing we get to do here on earth. So let’s stay sharp!

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Eccl. 3:1

• With every opportunity that presents itself, let’s learn to ask ourselves, what is “this” going to cost? (cost to my walk with Christ, cost to my relationships, cost to my health, cost to my work…) ~This way we live with minimal “if only’s”.
• Determine to embrace our present season and live life to it’s fullest for God in this particular time.

Let’s live forth His abundant life this week!
Much love,
Shaun and Betsy

What's our Life Song Communicating? 5-31-10

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.” Col. 3:16

Ok, we get the part of this verse regarding ‘getting into God’s Word so that God’s Word gets into us’. (e.g.: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him.” Jam.1:5) ~~But what about the part of this verse that urges us to teach and warn one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs? Is Paul actually exhorting believers to recite psalms of the bible and sing of God’s greatness to one another as the primary means of edification and accountability? Oh Lord, Shaun and I pray not, or we’ll be reduced a very very small group of friends.

For while worship leaders sing with the ability to usher their listeners into the very presence of God, the earthly voices God has chosen to give Shaun and Betsy do anything but this. (We can’t even sit in the front row at church or we throw the band off!) No no, the more we live and learn, the more we’re convinced that it is not some spiritual chorus coming out of our mouths, but it’s our very lives that become a spiritual song and psalm for (or against) the Lord.

God exhorts us: “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” And “Love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength…and love your neighbor as yourself.” With verses like 2 Tim. 2:15 and Mk.12:33 as our ‘life’s backbone’, Shaun and I realize that our ‘life’s ribs’ (our marriage, our family, our interpersonal relationships, our work, our recreation, this R&R ministry, etc.) are either reflecting God’s image or tarnishing it. ~~Our imperfect lives either sing a song for Jesus or against Him. And although the words out of our mouths are without notes or melody, hopefully they effectively communicate God’s word, (both logos and rhema), and usher others into the presence of God.

Recently, I’ve been disheartened upon hearing the news of 2 teens belonging to believing friends of ours, saying that they no longer feel that Jesus is the way. ~~ WHY?? ~~What have they witnessed in their lives that would cause them to arrive at this personal conclusion, a conclusion that is so contrary to the faith they were raised with?

One of these teens communicated to me that she simply has rarely seen a Christian with a genuine on-fire love for Christ. And in the rare instances she has witnessed God’s splendor through the life of another believer, the very next moment she has witnessed another Christian cut this person down for the very song that Christ has put inside him or her. ~~The lives of these 2 teens have sadly witnessed more religion than relationship, more judgmental spirit than a spirit of love, more rules than trust, and more hypocrisy than honesty in church and in their Christian role models, and consequently, they are choosing to leave a Jesus they never really knew.

~~God IS love! And although we believers are called to keep one another accountable (1 Cor. 5:12b-13;6:3), we mustn’t let the fear of 1 Tim. 4:1-2 cause us to “police” in such a manner that we risk losing the “rhema love picture” (and thus become nothing more than “logos legalists). Equally important, we must guard ourselves against becoming so casual with God (or calloused by the world) that we lose our passionate excitement for Jesus or the wonder of His magnificence.

(Can’t you envision the angels in heaven, who constantly worship God Almighty in ALL of His magnificence, being totally mystified by how we, God’s chosen squirt-ant kids could be so judgmental OR so casual with God’s splendor?!)

Our God is so awesome and so worthy of our comprehensive devotion. May we each experience Him more fully this week. God bless you!

Shaun and Betsy