Significance 8-30-10

“Then there was an argument among them as to which of them would be the greatest….Then He said to them…‘Whoever is the least among you is the greatest.’” Lk. 9:46; 48

Just prior to this verse, in Lk. 43-45, we learn that everyone was marveling over the wonderful things Jesus was doing. The disciples in particular were so caught up in outward appearances and personal significance issues that they completely missed what Jesus said next: listen and remember. Knowing full-well that they would not understand, Jesus went on to tell them about His betrayal. And wouldn’t you know it, rather than focusing on what Jesus was trying to communicate to them, the very next thing the disciples do is argue over who’s greatest among them!

The crowd focused on the miracles, Jesus focused the disciples in on His betrayal, and the disciples chose to focus on who’s the greatest. ~~That’s a pretty sad commentary! But aren’t we just like them today? …At times, don’t we get caught up in our personal agendas and miss Jesus’ primary speaking point? …Don’t we secretly (or not so secretly) wonder why we weren’t dealt a more significant role in this world…or better recognized for the role we do play?

Jesus exhorts us to listen and remember words such as these:

• We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Eph. 2:10  God crafted my unique purpose before I was born.
• The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. Ps. 138:8  God has a distinct calling on my life.  
• He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil.1:6 God started this work and He will finish it. 
• No one takes this honor upon himself; he must be called by God, just as Aaron was. Heb.5:4 God’s in charge of recognition & results, I’m in charge of obeying His promptings.

 God beckons us to realize our personalized calling and to make the most of our unique positions of influence as He directs. ~~Not reserving ‘our best’ for clout positions, while neglecting the significance of our influence in the common places of our everyday lives (like our role as a mentor, friend, father, husband, wife, or mother). No, like with Jesus and His disciples, it’s within these more common places and relationships that our unique calling is generally most valuable. ~~How many of us know successful business personalities, pastors, etc. who seem to “have it all”…only to find that their intimate relational life is a dysfunctional mess?

A personal illustration: After diligently seeking God’s counsel, years ago we chose to keep Betsy from a money-making job outside the home in order for her to fulfill her call of “domestic engineer and neck”. (What’s a neck? Simply put, two head chiefs in one home don’t function optimally. So, in our household, Shaun’s the “head of the household” and Betsy’s the “neck of influence”!)

And ever since making this ‘outside the cultural norm decision’, we’ve had to overcome regular raised eyebrow questioning as to Betsy’s worth as ‘a value-add human for our industrious society’…especially when we lived in the Bay Area. (At times, particularly during the hormonal baby-nursing years, this societal pressure really got to her!) ~~For not until 15-20 years later have we and society even begun to see the enormous influence that this pivotal God-directed decision continues to make.

Question: Do you believe God has a unique purpose for your life? If so, are you victoriously walking in it? If so, keep on keeping on!!! And if not…why not???

God bless you this week!

Shaun and Betsy

Standing in the Gap 8-23-10

“I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before Me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.” Ezek. 22:30

The NIV tells us that the wall spoken of here is not made of stones, but one of faithful people united in their efforts to resist evil. Likened to our present day, this wall of faith was in disrepair yet few would step up to lead these unfaithful sheep back to God.

We Cleary’s just returned from a week’s trek through the Sierra’s before dropping our middle son off at college in the Bay Area. As we hiked North Dome in Yosemite and immersed ourselves in this indescribable grandeur of God’s creation, it was difficult to contain our awestruck wonder of God Almighty! Yet as we ended our Yosemite portion of the trip and entered our time in San Francisco, we were awoken to the sad realization that despite the “high” we just experienced with our Savior, the reality is, this world system mocks and denies His very existence. And to flourish within our societal system, yet not be assimilated into it, requires a diligent swim upstream in the waterways of the cultural norm.

So the next day, as we emotionally readied ourselves to drop off Conner at Stanford University (a prestigious school in society’s eyes, but one that embraces the ways of this world), we beseeched God with this short request:

~~Will you consider joining us and pray this over yourself and those you love?

“Lord Jesus, please bless us with a progressing revelation of You, Your will, and a deeper understanding of the boundaries/walls You’ve placed in and around our lives…walls You’ve placed for our benefit (not to somehow constrain us from happiness). Then, with this divine understanding and discernment will You help us to live within these boundaries while we uncompromisingly violate the culture around us with Your love and for Your glory? Lord, please help us to be so connected with You in relationship that our own sinful desires become exceedingly distasteful to us. And then, if need be, help us to stand ‘in the gap’ (like Noah) and speak against the evils of our day. Lord, please give us Your eyes into the culture, circumstances and relationships around us, and give us divine discernment to interact with them as You would. Amen.”



God bless you this week!

Much love,

Shaun and Betsy

Dominance Kills 8-9-10

“For you have been called to live in freedom-not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love. ... Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Gal. 5:13 and Eph. 5:21

In any significant relationship, habitual dominance within the relationship destroys the relationship. Dominance is a gender-neutral sin, and sadly, Shaun & Betsy (two driven, energetic, get-it-done-yesterday, Type-A individuals) have both taken turns at the “dominance steering wheel” of our relationship. Author and Pastor Jimmy Evans explains this negative dynamic:

“Dominance is one of the most damaging dynamics that can exist in any relationship--especially in marriage. God simply didn't intend for marriage to be a relationship where one spouse would dominate the other.

To understand this, we have to go back to the Garden of Eden before the fall of mankind. In the Bible, there isn't a reference indicating that Adam was superior to Eve, or vice versa, until the fall. After Adam and Eve ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God pronounced a curse over them. In Genesis 3:16, we find that He told Eve her desire would be for her husband and he [Adam] would rule over her. The word 'desire' in that scripture means 'a desire to usurp authority'.


Dominance and a struggle for power or superiority in a marriage are the result of our fallen nature, and they destroy intimacy and goodwill in the relationship. ~~And there is only one answer--both spouses must surrender themselves to the authority of Christ and stop trying to control the marriage. This means the dominant spouse must have a humble attitude and ‘stand down’. It also means the dominated spouse must stop enabling the dominance. He or she must lovingly ‘stand up’ and take an active, equal position in the relationship.”

The good news for us Cleary’s is that we’re learning to recognize this harmful mannerism fairly readily. And through the ups, the downs and the seasons of life, daily we consciously surrender ourselves to God’s authority, seek His will, and allow Him to teach us how to serve and submit to one another. (In our differing roles as ‘the head and the neck’, we are equal partners under God’s authority.)

All of us have experienced the negative consequences of dominance in relationships near and dear to us. And we are wise to remember that although we can influence another, we can change no one but ourselves. ~~Single or married, we pray your significant relationships flourish this week as you seek Him!

Much love,
Shaun and Betsy

Developing Character 8-2-10

“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Gen. 1:27

“For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son.” Rom. 8:29

Each of us, created in Christ’s image, are now being conformed and transformed into His likeness. This is some serious business! And God stops at nothing to accomplish His goal in our lives, personally orchestrating a symphony of events, circumstances, and relationships, which produce a divine melody in this ultimate objective.

One of His favorite means of conforming and transforming us is through significant relationships in our lives, marriage in particular. Likened to the saying, “God didn’t make marriage to make us happy, He made marriage to make us grow up”; God uses our most treasured relationships as His conduit for change. And it is in the marriage relationship specifically, beyond any other human relationship, that our character is most tested and refined. (It’s no wonder that Paul desired to remain single! 1Cor. 7:32)

Marriage, more than an other relationship, will test us to our core…testing our patience, our willingness to forgive, our ability to submit to another’s desires, our sensitivity and love towards others, and our integrity to the promise that we made on our wedding day. And there is no other relationship when lived out to God’s intended design, produces a greater picture of the Trinity and His relationship with His bride, us. ~~It’s no wonder Satan attacks marriage. When we say “I DO”, we tend to think “bliss forevermore”, but in reality, we’ve just picked a fight of cosmic proportions. (Again, it’s no wonder that Paul desired to remain single!)

Each of us, married or single, are profoundly influenced (positively and negatively) by the marriages around us…our parents, our relatives, our friends. When married couples we love struggle, we too experience pain … conversely, when couples we love are mirroring Christ’s passion in their relationships, we too are lifted to a higher plane. ~~And right now in our lives, God seems to be performing a miracle with Shaun’s parent’s brokenness, as they work to “reconcile and finish strong” in their marriage of 49 years.

It's been an extremely difficult number of years for our personal family, but Friday evening we got together as family for the first time in nearly 3 years. Although trust still needs to be built, we had a wonderful evening full of laughter and stories as we celebrated our Shannon’s birthday…together.

Jimmy Evans says, “Before marriage will make you happy it will make you grow up. And when you are experiencing marriage problems it is often the Lord dealing with a character issue.” We whole heartedly agree.

God bless you! ~ Shaun and Betsy