“Do not let any part of your body become a tool of wickedness, to be used for sinning. Instead, give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life. And use yourwhole body as a tool to do what is right for the glory of God." Rom. 6:13
Have you figured out that living life in relationship is a constant struggle?
- each of us is messed up to one degree or another
- add interpersonal relationship to the mix, and this struggle is exponentially magnified.
- we all have differing capacities or “tools in our toolboxes”... Some folks have a full box and use their tools as a well-trained craftsman. Others have just the basics, a hammer, screw driver and exacto knife and try as they may (evil intent aside), they simply do not have the tools to obtain a precisioned result. Further, their cut finger bloodies the project and is followed by the inevitable blame game, “This wouldn’t have happened if YOU...!!!
So what do we do when we come into inevitable unresolved conflict/misunderstanding? Let’s take a look at the words “grace and mercy” (not doormat/enabler/co-dependent):
Mercy: (to show favor, pity, be gracious)
Gen. 19:19 “ "You have been so kind to me and saved my life, and you have granted me such mercy.”
Job 9:15 “Even if I were innocent, I would have no defense. I could only plead for mercy.”
Grace: (unmerited favor)
Gen. 6:7-8 “ So the LORD said, "I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them. But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.”
Rom. 6:14 “Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer subject to the law, which enslaves you to sin. Instead, you are free by God's grace.”
Inevitably, we all have significant relationships in our lives that have caused us unresolved pain. The question is, what to do with it?
- Pass judgment actively in the form of anger/confrontation/gossip?
- Pass judgment passively, choosing to treat them as if they are dead, ‘dis-ing’ them as in a junior high power play?
- Extend mercy, meaning that we choose to discuss and agree to disagree, or agree to step over the offense?
- Or extend grace, meaning that we choose to not only step over the offense, but do our best to bless the our offender?
(Careful here...remember, passing judgment about someone else tells us a lot about the person making the judgment!)
When we have unresolved conflict, we can show mercy and pardon the actions/words that have caused us pain...but to go a step further and extend grace is God living and acting in and through us. Our flesh says, “No way! Maybe I can forgive that jerk, but look pain in the face, and give of myself, expecting nothing in return? That’s too HARD!...It’s so much easier to live in my boundary box of avoidance than it is to walk in love and utter dependence upon You, Jesus.”
God’s grace: His merciful kindness by which God, exerting His holy influence upon souls, turns them to Jesus, keeps, strengthens, increases them in faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the godly virtues.
God’s example: Is. 60:10 "Foreigners will come to rebuild your cities. Kings and rulers will send you aid. For though I have destroyed you in my anger, I will have mercy on you through my grace.” God leads us by example over and over and over again, all we have to do is grab onto His hand, humble ourselves and walk...is this tooooo hard?
God bless you,
Shaun and Betsy
