Honest Communication, without
Coercion
“Only God can
convince him.” Job 32:13
Honestly
communicating our “heart desires” without the other person feeling manipulated is
a delicate art. Most of us either shy away from honest communication for fear
of consequence, fear of feeling uncomfortable, seeking “political correctness”.
~Or we do the opposite… too forceful in our communications, we become bullies
of sorts. Both styles stink.
Question:
Which non-optimal way/style do you tend to lean? (Unsure? Ask a close friend.)
Good
news: God Himself leads us in optimal communication style. From Genesis to
Revelation, without the use of coercive tactics, God pursues and woos us with
His truths.
Using
biblical examples let’s briefly explore and differentiate constructive and
productive communications from destructive and counterproductive ones.
Two
constructive and productive examples:
§ Ester before her
king/husband (Est. 5-7)
§ Abigail protecting her
husband, and King David (1Sam. 25)
Please
read Ester 5-7 and 1Samuel 25. Amidst these verses, we’ll observe two women who
do not shy away from honest communication, nor do they use coercive tactics in
their highly effective interactions. A great read!
Next,
let’s explore the definitions of more negative forms of communication.
(Note:
The actual words coerce, bully, and browbeat are not used in the Bible, but their
corresponding illustrations are numerous.)
Coerce
Dictionary: Cause to do through pressure or necessity, by
physical, moral or intellectual means
E.g.: Matt. 14:6-12: Herod’s wife uses her
daughter, demanding John the Baptists head
Bully
Dictionary: Attempt to force another to do what one
wants by use of intimidation
E.g.: Exodus 1:
Pharaoh’s “power trip” over the
Hebrew people/slaves
Browbeat
Dictionary: Intimidate
someone into doing something with seductive, stern or abusive words
E.g.: Jdgs
16:6-21 Delilah with Samson “Tell me the secret
of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued.”… “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me?
… With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was sick to death
of it. So he told her everything….Then the Philistines seized him,
gouged out his eyes and took him down to Gaza.
Coercing, bullying and browbeating
may end with the appearance of one effectively communicating one’s thoughts
and achieving desired results, but the proverbial reality is this: “You
can lead this horse to the party, but you can’t make him have fun.”
Let’s conclude with 2 similar
definitions of words actually used by God and His followers:
Convince
“nadaph”
means to drive to and fro
E.g.: Job 32:13 “He is too wise
for us, only God can convince
him.”
Persuade
“peitho”
means to make friends of, to win one's favor, gain one's
good will, or to seek to win one
E.g.: 2Cor. 5:11: “We know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade
others.”
Wrapping
up: Ultimately, we each have responsibility to effectively communicate
truths, but God alone holds the responsibility to convince and persuade
the “free will” choices of His people. ~May we neither “shy away” nor “be
too forceful” in our communications this week!
Living
in Jesus’ glorious guidance and strength.
Big hugs xo ~Shaun and Betsy
Big hugs xo ~Shaun and Betsy
