“Deal with your servant according to Your loving-kindness.” Ps. 119:124
Sometimes our behaviors and stinkin’ thinking necessitates a spanking to chasten us back on to the right path. But more often than not, when our hearts are supple towards God, He chooses to use His loving-kindness to ‘woo’ us back in step with Him instead of swatting us back in line. And don’t we all desire this kind of “dealing”?
We’ve found this same principle works in interpersonal relationships. Use me for example. When I’ve been a booger-head towards Shaun, it is not his chastening that most effectively alters my behaviors and attitudes, but it is his loving-kindness towards me in spite of my offensiveness that ushers in constructive outcomes and positive behavior/attitude adjustments. Although I may need a periodic ‘spanking’, I respond best to Shaun when he chooses not to return tit for tat, but instead, chooses to be the bigger person and love me in spite of my momentary ugliness or hormonal impulses. For it is through Shaun’s demonstrated Christ-like loving that GOD gets my attention, and changes me from the inside.
Now, this doesn’t mean that Shaun is some kind of mousy doormat who stuffs his feelings for fear of rocking the marriage boat. No, Shaun is very well equipped to transparently share with his wife the pains of his heart and the negative sensations he is experiencing from her. And he is also a man of God who is not afraid of allowing GOD to be the enforcer, instead of taking control himself to change his wife’s poor behaviors and attitudes.
Just as Jesus ‘chose not to entrust Himself to man’ (Jn. 2:24), but ‘instead He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly’ (1Pet. 2:23), we are wise to do the same. Entrust means to give oneself over to another and to commit to this another in confidence. In relationship, we’d be wise to use Christ’s own example and draw others to God (and godly behavior/attitudes) through our love, instead of returning ‘tit for tat’, or seeking personal justice.
In other words, with prudence share our thoughts and concerns with another, then allow God to be the enforcer and the aggregate for change.
Have a great week. And please join us for our final week of "Marriage on the Rock (not rocks)" as we discuss COMMUNICATION this Sunday at Calvary Chapel SB. (We promise you will LOVE IT, skits and all!)
Much love,
Shaun and Betsy
