“Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so also you must forgive.” Col. 3:13
God doesn’t merely suggest to us that we are to forgive those who have hurt us; to the contrary, He tells us we MUST forgive others of their wrongdoings. He knows full well that unforgiveness creates bondage, a self-induced prison for us. More importantly, He knows that forgiveness frees us up, liberating the forgiver to live life to its fullest.
So why don’t we readily forgive? Why aren’t we rushing to the forgiveness banquet table?
Perhaps what makes forgiveness appear so difficult to most of us is that we tend to bundle together forgiveness and reconciliation with restitution.
Let’s explore this a bit…
Jesus is all about reconciliation and restitution. He even charges us with the ministry of reconciliation in Matt. 5:24 and 2 Cor.5:17-21. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ; not counting men’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” But Jesus also tells us to guard our hearts above all else (Prv. 4:23), and what most of us have trouble grasping is how these 2 mandates can simultaneously coexist in the tough spots of our lives.
Remember the Kassi-skunk example we used a few weeks back? (We’ve attached that story above.) Well, some time has passed since her impulsive skunk butt-sniffing incident, and she soooo desires to nuzzle and cuddle with us. She has been washed repeatedly (baptized), prayed over, repented and the look in her eyes tells us that she genuinely desires never to smell a skunk again. However, our sweet little pup still carries the stink of her recklessness in her fur! And although she is now allowed back in the cars, in the house, can sit with us during a home movie, is sleeping back in our master bedroom, we simply are not ready to cuddle and nuzzle her yet…Straight up, as cute and repentant as she is, Kassi still stinks! We love her, we fully forgive her, we have reconciled with her, but full restitution is a boundary issue that simply takes TIME.
In our human relationships, we can forgive someone in a moment, be reconciled to them in a day or more, but full restitution of relationship requires trust, and trust requires time, character and devoted earnestness to develop or to win back. (~~ Remember, in the forgiveness equation there is the hurter, the hurted, and the hurting. And sometimes, there simply will never be a full-restitution, because one party is unwilling. We can only deal with ourselves, and allow God to deal with the other party.)
However, the cool thing in all this is that Jesus shows us, and then leads us by His own example. When we choose to seek and follow Him wholeheartedly, He actually shows us how to forgive and reconcile, then walks with us through the process of restitution.
So what do you say, let’s commit to give Jesus that person, that institution, that ungodly authority in our lives…and trust Him lead us in the steps towards full restitution. Whether we are the hurter or the hurted, as the hurting, we can choose to be set 100% free to live the abundant life Jesus has designed for each of us…but we each need to take the first step and forgive.
God bless you and hope your 4 day Valentine’s Day weekend was awesome!
Much love,
Shaun and Betsy
